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Hasibe Melisande Ozcelik
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"If we're sharing sins, you can tell me yours. I'll listen."
Canon: The London Mysteries
Species: Confusing. (Witchy, angel-y, psychic-y.)
Hometown: Hollywood, South Carolina
Age: 26 (06/23/84; Gemini/Cancer, Rat year)
Journal: ouroborosdance
Player: Kayame



[01:01]: and it doesn't necessarily mean anything, because "Hasi would sleep with you" just means "Hasi likes you!" LIKE [01:01]: OTHER PEOPLE GIVE GIFT BASKETS

you show me a sign to rise up from the world we know[]

Hasibe Ozcelik is a 26-year-old stage actress, burlesque queen, model, professional dancer, on-and-off escort, witch, psychic, widow, and a student of the mind. Less professionally, she's been called a maneater, a homewrecker, a troublemaker, a bleeding heart, a masochist, and "princess," by certain types of acquaintances. Presently living in London in the Chelsea neighborhood, she is a tall, willowy young woman of mostly Kurdish ancestry, with long black hair, lighter olive skin, large hazel eyes that often appear golden, and a naturally pretty countenance that looks a touch more innocent- or at least a little less scandalous- than her actual history, which is troubled enough that she uses the alias of Norea Serhati. She walks with her hips swaying, wears Guerlain perfume, smokes Djarum blacks, and has old-fashioned, glamorously expensive tastes that tend to bypass popular trends entirely; she knows how to dress, and has spent years convincing people erroneously that she is some kind of perfect (without being proper) hedonistic princess of the arts -- she's her own personal spin doctor, when it comes to how fucked up she really is. While she is by no means shy, sometimes she withdraws, and sometimes she just doesn't need words. "Mystery" is not something she cultivates intentionally- it just sort of...happens.

This is true of a great deal of her life; things simply happen to her, as a result of Hasibe existing. Sometimes this is entertaining, and sometimes it is deeply tragic, but she is only beginning to understand why monstrous men, generalized magical madness, and murder all seem drawn to her--and if she's completely honest with herself, vice-versa.

and she's strung out on life[]

"Nobody should have to spend their life pretending to be something they're not. No one. Otherwise, it backfires, one way or another."

Hasibe comes from a world similar to ours. It's 2010, MTV no longer plays music videos, and other pop cultural events are comparably similar. It is different in one significant way, however: the divine - the gods and capital-G God - have either disappeared or died somehow; either way, their absence is profound and disconcerting to the citizens of the earth who were more tangibly aware of their presence. Most of the witches, of which there were many lines, descended from the one thousand children of Lilith (another disappearance), were depleted over the years, and the ones that remain are comparatively neutered in terms of power. Many of the angels have also disappeared along with their maker, being closely connected to him by nature, but a small handful remain, persevering in their appointed tasks. Some of the angels who prophesied their own disappearance chose to procreate with humans in hopes their descendants would continue their fight, generally choosing a handful of women among the Yezidis mostly in Syria, Turkey, Russia, and Iraq; this created a new race of children of 'Bene Elohim', the race mentioned in the Book of Enoch and suspected to be Nephilim (though this was never completely confirmed or denied), from whom new lines of witches and psychics would develop. Only eight angels chose to father children (Melek Ta'us, who by other faiths is considered to be equivalent to Satan, though the Yezidis see him as redeemed in the eyes of God and an example of how no one is purely good or purely evil; he was accompanied in this decision by his seven-angel haftan), and only five lines remain. Hasibe's ancestor is their leader, who appeared on earth in the year 1900, and who was the last.

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Dolled up for performing.

Demons, vampires, werewolves, fairies, and most other forms of supernatural beings remain, and they jockey for control of the world in a magical underbelly of the earth, tinted with organized crime and secret politics. Out of this madness, a black market has arisen which combines science and magic - for a price, an ordinary human can undergo a psychic augmentation which gives him actual pieces of a supernatural being who was abducted and pulled apart, whether physically, as with, say, a werewolf who has super-strength or in their actual souls, and had bits of themselves sold off. Less commonly, supernatural beings who want to hide or tamp down their powers somehow can also utilize this industry. Either way, it's made life even more dangerous for anyone with "gifts", and the pharmeutical company behind the business seems to be getting away with it.

she moves, and it's fire, fire under water[]

"Life is not about lukewarm feelings or what makes you comfortable."

Hasibe was born into a Yezidi family of psychics, or witches, or whatever you want to call them, stemming primarily from her maternal line; her father was entirely normal and also largely absent from her life. The strength of the abilities in her mother's family render them largely incapable of interacting with the world in a healthy way, or even kill them--Hasibe has a grand-uncle who did not make it past infancy because his telepathy was so strong he could hear the minds of every other being on earth simultaneously, which eventually gave him an aneurysm. Unwilling to live life separate from people she cared about, and never knowing why she had these abilities in the first place, Hasibe took supernatural steps to control her own powers and entirely block the use (though they remain as a potential, she cannot access them) of some of them.

Her mother was Zeynap Lillake Ozcelik, whose own parents had previously lived in Turkey, but a step before that were Iraqi-born, fleeing ultimately to the States after Zeynap's mother was arrested for anti-government activity. Hasi's father, Lee Astruc Chevalier, was a French Jewish (out of Comtat Venaissin/Provence, years back) and Metis man from a small town called Neche in Pembina County, North Dakota; his relationship with Zeynap dissolved very quickly after Hasibe's birth. Lee married and had children with another woman in Charleston, South Carolina, but his strange first daughter was brought up in the small shore town of Hollywood, in which the Ozceliks were decidedly the foreign family. People said Zeynap was a witch, but she was by no means vulnerable, and most people were terrified of her seething temper and radical political views. Being imbued with inherent magic permitted mother and daughter to see the nature of people and things, and furthermore led Hasi to fear the consequences of her own temper - pyrokinesis is one ability she has and will always keep - which was bad enough, but when Hasibe manifested what she refers to as "the hunger," a psychic craving for others' energy and minds, she knew she could not remain like this. The hunger was not strictly malicious, because Hasibe has very little cruelty in her at all, but rather it felt like taking the souls of others to keep them safe, and that was worse. The children of the Bene Elohim are never harmless, and Hasi is pure in a way that is also sometimes terrible.

Her mother tried to help her, but was eventually the victim of her own personal relationships with men who should have known better, foreshadowing Hasi's experiences - her mother's boyfriend strangled Zeynap to death in the kitchen when Hasibe was sixteen years old and away at school. Their relationship had been mutually abusive, but Zeynap had never believed he'd actually kill her. He went to prison, and is still there, but Hasibe became increasingly convinced that she was destined for the same fate at the hands of some larger monster, since her abilities exceeded her mother's already. She had been accepted to Brandeis for college, and was determined to succeed there, planning on abandoning her troubled past with the hope that her mother would approve. Utilizing the black market at just seventeen, she met a man who made a deal with her: he would pay for a psychic surgery that blocked off as much of her troublesome magic as the chosen surgeon could manage, and in return, she'd work for him and his company.

She agreed. It wasn't something she went into naively--she knew he was basically a pimp and a pornographer, but she wasn't really especially daunted by that lifestyle. The company was called 'Delight', and she was a performer for them for several years, mostly working clubs as a dancer but doing occasional movies, too - she preferred femdom, and didn't necessarily hide her occupation from most of her classmates, but she knew the consequences of advertising it, too. Delight is not a hugely big-name company, but they do turn in a pretty decent profit, so people knew about it, even if she never did enough screen work to become a name brand kind of girl. Hasibe graduated from Brandeis at twenty-three, but found herself faced with a predicament, and that predicament was named "the job market". She had a degree in psychology, and wanted to go onto graduate school, but that cost a lot of money, and she couldn't find anything in her preferred career that would have done much to help her. So she stuck with Delight, but became rebellious and battled frequently with her handler, a money-hungry shark named Cameron Mancini, who still insisted she hadn't paid him back for the surgeries in full, anyway.

speaks of its flame as she speaks my name[]

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Profile; tousled.

One evening while going to pay Cameron her weekly debt at a Delight-owned nightclub in Boston, where she lived even about a year after finishing college, Hasibe happened to meet a man, a brilliant scientist, named Henry Jekyll. He was already in an eight-year relationship (albeit one with feelings that were more lukewarm than passionate), but disapproved of Cameron's treatment of her and gave her his card. They developed an intense friendship that was also considerably sexually and emotionally charged, since their feelings were by no means platonic, but Henry's relationship and not insignificant repression issues prevented them from getting together. In the midst of his drug research, he lost his job for his controversial plans - involving the eradication of schizophrenia - and accepted assistance from exactly the same morally dubious pharmaceutical company in providing chemicals. Lacking any test subjects, and struggling with having no official funding, he tested his product on himself.

This, as you might suspect, created Edward Hyde. Hyde murdered Cameron and then beelined for Hasibe, and the two began a relationship that started similarly to the way drug addiction does: she knew it was a bad idea, knew it would only get ugly and hurt her, but the high was incredible, and she was literally the only other person he saw as real. Everyone else was expendable. Hasi had always had a tendency to attract mad, bad, and dangerous to know types of men, and will always possess qualities that probably draw in that type (she's very forgiving, curious to a fault, and loves a good adrenaline rush), but Hyde was something special. The chemicals Henry had used were augmented with supernatural beings' DNA, and as Hyde, he had super-strength, super-speed, and most distressingly the ability to know where Hasibe was at all hours of the day...except when she was with Henry, which infuriated Hyde, because he didn't especially like anything in the way of his obsession.

Henry, feeling freed and heartened by the progress he was making, finally left his girlfriend and began a relationship with Hasibe. They experimented with finding a way to fit together, and had some success, at least at first. Unfortunately, Hyde was possessive - even when it came to his own alter ego - and very much considered Hasi his property, and that's not an euphemism. Other people looked at them with concern in public, and a few of them tried to say something, but Hasibe was already in too deep. Hyde and Hasi's relationship became abusive and terrifying as she made a few attempts at leaving him, and she found out that he'd been murdering people, including her old employer, all over town; it became clear to her that if he found out about Henry, he'd kill him, too, and she couldn't know that both of her lovers were, in fact, the same man. No one realized. Even though he and Hasi acknowledged they loved one another, Henry began pulling away from her in order to protect her as he started to understand he could not get rid of Hyde, his own repressed dark side, as easily as he'd thought, and furthermore after an altercation in a bar wherein Hyde almost killed a man for talking to Hasi...and then nearly killed Hasibe herself until she talked him out of it, it became apparent his possessiveness was increasing.

It got worse, as these things do. Eventually, Hyde, in the process of slowly killing the original Henry personality and taking over completely, found a letter from Henry to Hasibe wherein Henry urged her to leave town for a while and made several references to their relationship, and Hasi had to escape before he could kill her. She hid for about a week, and then made a decision: even if it killed her, she had to stop Hyde and try to save the man she loved. The truth was that both of them were part of the same person she'd fallen for, and one couldn't exist without the other, so using her abilities (she went to a psychic surgeon to remove some of the barriers, albeit only temporarily, because she could not live comfortably without them), she traveled to Henry's house and engaged in a long, long psychic journey to reintegrate Hyde and Henry.

It was successful, but at a cost. Hasibe almost died, and Henry's quick thinking - and the assistance of a man named Martel, who happened to be a sorcerer in his own right and thus better-equipped to help - managed to put her mostly to rights, although her powers have never been as tamped down as they were prior, and now she can't ignore them, she actually has to learn to deal with her own potent witchcraft. Henry, now a whole man, eventually proposed to Hasibe, and they moved to Ithaca, New York, where they planned for a June wedding while Hasibe completed a two-year graduate program at Ithaca College and worked as a local stage actress. Henry worked at Cornell as a researcher, they had a house and a dog named Huan, and life was surprisingly good. On their wedding day, though, things changed, for good this time. The drugs that Henry had taken never left his system entirely, and as they were leaving the venue they had their nuptials in, freshly married, surrounded by their friends and family, Hyde resurfaced, and Hasibe realized they'd never be free of him. Furthermore, he was pretty keen on killing everyone there, and Henry needed someone to finally let him escape.

Hasi believed - and still does - in the afterlife. She's convinced her husband is in a better place, that she'll see him again someday, and only hopes that whoever is in charge will forgive her for mercy-killing him on her wedding day. She'd never killed anyone before, but when she realized she had to, she didn't hesitate to do what needed to be done.

She was acquitted at the trial, since it was fairly clear-cut self-defense and there were dozens of witnesses. Some local reporting occurred, since it was such awful timing and the entire thing happened in public with photographers around, but Hasibe spoke to no one. After she was officially cleared, she asked an old friend named Wes to take care of Huan for a while. And then Hasibe Ozcelik disappeared. For nearly one year, she has been MIA: no contact, nothing. She stayed in her hometown of Hollywood for a while, but it wasn't far enough away, so after that she went to Damascus, followed by Turkey; a smaller town on the edge of Istanbul is where she had been for the past three months, but after a visit to Xanadu, decided she should come back. Her anniversary came and went, and she could only hide from the world for so long.

Frankly, she wasn't sure she was ready, but sometimes you have to make a decision.

She ended up moving to London, mostly because she could secure a visa to do as much, and began working as an actress (since she had the stage experience), singer, and dancer onstage at a nightclub called Alkahest. The singing was her most useful talent there, but she also began to develop her professional career in film--while making a mess out of her personal life, as is her wont. Additionally, murder kept following her around, as it always does. A man was butchering groups of patrons at Alkahest in order to use them as human sacrifice to a disembodied demon he'd uncovered while dabbling in sorcery. This, as you can imagine, gave the club a slight reputation, and it continued after Inspector Bellamy Morray solved the case - with some of Hasibe's assistance, and an incident wherein the suspect stalked Hasi and held a gun on her at her home. She bound him from talking to demons again, but she never got the name of the one he was communicating with, a fact she suspected would eventually bite her a little bit. Following that, Hasi began immersing herself in high society, often on the arm of her employer, the wealthy Mr. Almos Keresztes. At a dinner party - wherein Hasi and Bellamy got physically acquainted despite her being present as another man's date - a girl named Annabel Chapman, Almos's former flame, was murdered by her father. Almos was the initial suspect, which didn't look good, and Bellamy and Hasi had an argument about it. Eventually it was resolved, and when Almos himself was murdered, Bellamy excused himself from the case for his personal involvement. Concurrently, Hasi was left coping with both the loss of her boss and that of her father-in-law, who'd been institutionalized for twenty years and whom she'd seen a few times while he was her responsibility. She'd never told him Henry had died, and actually took steps to make it seem as though their lives were great, and she still feels sick about that lie, but she couldn't stand to tell him. And if she's honest, the fantasy life was appealing, for obvious reasons.

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chains that define who i am[]

  • Pyrokinesis
  • Telekinesis
  • Psychic hypnosis
  • ~general magic~; as she tries really hard to be non-violent, the things she does are typically along those lines. Cursing someone with hideous guilt and a sudden over-development of conscience is, after all, still non-violent.
  • Immunity to dominating, poison blood
  • Misc abilities she can't use: at her extreme, unbound levels, she is so destructive to the environment that she's literally just like "no, you know what, never doing that again." In Boston, when she was temporarily unbound, she caused geomagnetic storms, which are actually space fucking up, knocked out citywide power, and can induce radiation damage on earth, so... you know. Bad. Additionally, the consumption of SOULS, or at least that which animates (beings animated with intelligence and awareness other than a soul are not safe, either). Problem: this is not gone, it's just bound. She's still semi-interested in changing that.
  • Dancing, photography, arts
  • Empathy/integrity

well, they all really want you, if only you had wanted them[]

"The hardest thing in the world is to find people who are genuinely extraordinary, because everything else is set up to only accommodate normalcy. I've found them, but most of the time, they're better off if I let them go."

Fifteen points, to be expanded upon:

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Candid photo, sans make-up.

  • Princessy/poised (and not in the materialistic way)
  • Intelligent
  • Investigative
  • Strong sexuality/sensuality, masochism
  • Objectification issues, or: when being beautiful is also a pain in the ass
  • Hedonism. A lot of that.
  • Stormchasing tendencies/tendency to date men who are very aggressive and have legitimate scary psychotic dark sides! HOORAY.
  • Magnetic
  • Emotional vulnerabilities/depth
  • Social (but not necessarily aggressively so)
  • Philosophical
  • Sometimes overwhelming empathy
  • Self-shaming/martyring/PERFECTIONIST OH GOD
  • Bravery, the greater good, and its personal cost
  • Recent withdrawn tendencies

here we are again, how could i have seen?[]

  • Enfys Llewelyn and Hasi met in Stigmata; they are similarly possessed of too much joie de vivre (although it manifests in different ways) and extremely long legs. They celebrated their birthdays together, being close in age, and may have made out. Shh.

always she's driving, how could i have known?[]

  • Alexander Georgiou is a good friend of Hasi's who has one of the busiest lives she's ever seen. She doesn't feel like she can get involved in that sort of business (her abilities alone would seem to make it unfair), but she's curious and they have an understandingly trolly friendship.
  • Bruce Wayne is one of those quiet, dry-humored types Hasi likes so well; he's also got his fair share of secrets, she suspects. He likes to pretend he is a golfer. She knows better. He was also one of the very very few people to see how truly fucked up her relationship with Hyde was, and she appreciates that observant nature. He's one of the few she feels comfortable being almost completely herself around, mainly because he makes no demands and seems to have no expectations, so there's no role for her to play besides herself. Also he's good with the casual sex.
  • Clifford Carruthers is someone of whom Hasi is fond. You don't have to understand, okay.
  • DI Bellamy Morray is the detective who investigated a series of ritual murders at Alkahest; Hasi helped him, and the two have begun a tentative "friendship", which has been recently marked by Bellamy pinning her to a wall for sudden violent making out - Hasi's been using her charms against him somewhat unfairly, and they sometimes run into one another socially- not to mention the fact that murder follows Hasi around and Bellamy's a homicide detective means they probably won't stop working together when the supernatural is involved. He's uncharacteristically wary with her, in his way, which is not unwise, considering the damage she can and has done without trying to men who've simply gotten close to her- still, she likes him, and she's pretty sure he likes her, too, or at least wants her. She just doesn't know if that's a good thing for him.

"Are you a seer as well as a dancer?"

  • Jack Benjamin was one of Henry's best friends, and also is pretty close to Hasi; Jack is a guarded person by nature but they've had some fairly revealing conversations anyway, mostly due to the timing of when they've spoken. She worries about him, more than she'll actually tell him.
  • Lucas North and Hasi are never going to talk again because while they've had their fair share of train wrecks, some can be avoided.
  • Martel put Hasi's mind back together after she nearly went completely soul-eating monster and self-defensively pushed herself into a catatonic state; ergo, she feels she owes him loyalty, even if he doesn't see it that way. He gave her away at her wedding, being her favorite distinguished older gentleman.
  • Raylan Givens is a charming cowboy-hat-wearing law enforcement gentleman whom Hasi met, recognized as looking very similarly to her ex, and promptly began sleeping with- not for the really fucked up reasons you might expect, but because she likes him. That said, the element of it being fucked up is hard to escape, and since Raylan a) likes crazy women and b) Hasi likes tall, willful men who are capable of seriously messing you up (repressed dark sides are a plus), this will probably end well. They are very different people with a few important things in common. Like being trouble magnets. Ask them about their would-be muggers sometime.
  • Wesley Lode is Hasi's best friend in all the world; she knows she'd happily be his muse and his entertainment and his provider of lingerie (he likes to sometimes wear hers, and she ends up giving it to him because his shoulders stretch it out) for as long as he likes, and in return he's been very loyal. She knows he's got a lot more going on than he presents, but she and Wes have a nicely supportive 'don't ask, don't tell' sort of thing going on.

straight through the sound, she's seen as a bright sun to everyone[]

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Witchlike.

Khalil Gibran :: All these things have you said of beauty, yet you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied / And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy / It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth / But rather a heart inflamed and a soul enchanted / It is not an image you would see nor a song you would hear / But rather an image you see though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears / It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw / But rather a garden forever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight. / People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face / But you are life and you are the veil / Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror / But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

Kitêba Cilwe / The Book of Illumination :: Sheikh Adî as Tawûsê Melek: "I was present when Adam was living in Paradise, and also when Nemrud threw Abraham in fire. I was present when God said to me: 'You are the ruler and Lord on the Earth'. God, the compassionate, gave me seven earths and throne of the heaven."

Ada or Ardor by Nabokov :: Children of her type contrive the purest philosophies. Ada had worked out her own little system. Hardly a week had elapsed since Van's arrival when he was found worthy of being initiated in her web of wisdom. An individual's life consisted of certain classified things: "real things" which were unfrequent and priceless, simply "things" which formed the routine stuff of life; and "ghost things," also called "fogs," such as fever, toothache, dreadful disappointments, and death. Three of more things occurring at the same time formed a "tower" or, if they came in immediate succession, they made a "bridge." "Real towers" and "real bridges" were the joys of life, and when the towers came in a series, one experienced supreme rapture; it almost never happened, though. In some circumstances, in a certain light, a neutral "thing" might look or even actually become "real" or else, conversely, it might coagulate into a fetid "fog." When the joy and the joyless happened to be intermixed, simultaneously or along the ramp of duration, one was confronted with "ruined towers" and "broken bridges."

All bright kids are depraved.

Anais Nin :: "I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy."

The Lady of the Camelias or La Traviata or Camille :: "In this girl there was at once the virgin whom a mere nothing had turned into a courtesan, and the courtesan whom a mere nothing would have turned into the most loving and the purest of virgins. Marguerite still had pride and independence, two sentiments which, if they are wounded, can be the equivalent of a sense of shame." (page 78)

"There passed from time to time in the eyes of this woman a glimmer of desire, giving promise of a very heaven for one whom she should love. But those who had loved Marguerite were not to be counted, nor those whom she had loved." (page 78)

"That is the Vicomte de L. He was obliged to disappear."
"Why?"
"Because he was all but ruined. That's one, if you like, who loved Marguerite."
"And she loved him, too, no doubt?"
"She is such a queer girl, one never knows. The night he went away she went to the theater as usual, and yet she cried when he said good-bye to her." (page 81)

"Men, instead of being satisfied in obtaining for a long time what they scarcely hoped to obtain once, exact from their mistresses a full account of the present, the past, and even the future. As they get accustomed to her, they want to rule her, and the more one gives them the more exacting they become." (page 93)

"But I forewarn you I must be free to do as I please, without giving you the slightest details what I do." (page 93)

"But to be really loved by a courtesan: that is a victory of infinitely greater difficulty." (page 110)

"And you accept this sacrifice? What sort of a man are you, sir, to allow Mlle. Gautier to sacrifice anything for you?" (page 187)

The Thought of Norea :: Father of All, Ennoia of the Light, dwelling in the heights above the (regions) below, Light dwelling in the heights, Voice of Truth, upright Nous, untouchable Logos, and ineffable Voice, incomprehensible Father!

It is Norea who cries out to them. They heard, (and) they received her into her place forever. They gave it to her in the Father of Nous, Adamas, as well as the voice of the Holy Ones, in order that she might rest in the ineffable Epinoia, in order that <she> might inherit the first mind which <she> had received, and that <she> might rest in the divine Autogenes, and that she (too) might generate herself, just as she also has inherited the living Logos, and that she might be joined to all of the Imperishable Ones, and speak with the mind of the Father.

And she began to speak with the words of Life, and <she> remained in the presence of the Exalted One, possessing that which she had received before the world came into being. She has the great mind of the Invisible One, and she gives glory to <her> Father, and she dwells within those who [...] within the Pleroma, and she beholds the Pleroma.

There will be days when she will behold the Pleroma, and she will not be in deficiency, for she has the four holy helpers who intercede on her behalf with the Father of the All, Adamas. He it is who is within all of the Adams, possessing the thought of Norea, who speaks concerning the two names which create a single name.

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Pianos.

Nag Hammadi - "Thunder: Perfect Mind" :: "I am the knowledge of my inquiry, and the finding of those who seek after me, and the command of those who ask of me, and the power of the powers in my knowledge of the angels, who have been sent at my word, and of the gods in their seasons by my counsel, and of the spirits of every man who exists with me, and of the women who dwell within me. I am the one who is honored, and who is praised, and who is despised scornfully. I am peace, and war has come because of me. I am an alien and a citizen. I am the substance and the one who has no substance.

I am control and the uncontrollable. I am the union and the dissolution. I am the abiding and the dissolving. I am the one below, and they come up to me. I am the judgment and the acquittal. I, I am sinless, and the root of sin derives from me. I am lust in (outward) appearance, and interior self-control exists within me. I am the hearing that is attainable to everyone and the speech that cannot be grasped.

Look then at his words and all the writings which have been completed. Give heed then, you hearers and you also, the angels and those who have been sent, and you spirits who have arisen from the dead. For I am the one who alone exists, and I have no one who will judge me."

lights move in chalk lines, chains that define who i am[]

Zeynap (Hasibe's mother) is loosely inspired by the mythological figure of Lilith, who was, in fact, a real person in Hasibe's universe anyway. Hasibe identifies with Norea ("the younger Lilith"), another name for Sophia, and in fact presently goes by the alias of Norea Serhati in a professional capacity.

hollow and mined with the weight of the world[]

MLwtTKK - "Girl Without A Planet" :: A hurricane turns in her brain, little miss no-tomorrow. She's the girl without a planet, the girl without a home; an angel all alone.
Kate Bush - "Waking the Witch" :: "You must wake up. Can you not see that little light up there?" Where? "There." Spiritus sanctus in nomine...poor little thing, the blackbird! Pinks and posies, wings in the water. Red, red roses, go down. Bless me, father, bless me, father, for I have sinned. "I question your innocence!" Help me. Help this blackbird! "She's a witch!" There's a stone around my leg. What say you, good people? "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!" I am responsible for your actions.
Serra Eric - "Little Light of Love" :: A treasure, your shimmer; in the middle of a shady desert it brings on a field of light. Would you die for their lie, for their greedy hunting cry? Rely on your light, on your inner loving power; a little light as sole religion, a little light of love and freedom.
VAST - "Pretty When You Cry" :: I didn't wanna hurt you, baby, but you're pretty when you're mine.
Shivaree - "Goodnight Moon" :: How can you save me when the dark comes to take me up my front walk and into my bed, where it kisses my face and eats my head?
Dresden Dolls - "The Perfect Fit" :: It's not very practical, but it still pays the bills...I can dance and win at games, like backgammon and life.
Matthew Sweet - "Dark Secret" :: And though they think that they will find you, they are slave to what you know. It's a dark secret you carry with you.
A Perfect Circle - "Magdalena" :: I'd sell my soul, my self-esteem...for one chance, one kiss, one taste of you, my black Madonna.
Sugarcult - "Pretty Girl (The Way)" :: Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men. That's what you get for falling again; you can never get him out of your head.
OneRepublic - "All the Right Moves" :: There will be the king of hearts, and you're the queen of spades, and we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers.
The Legendary Pink Dots - "I Love You In Your Tragic Beauty" :: That's the way it's been for years. That's the way it will always be.
Neutral Milk Hotel - "Ghost" :: With wings that wringed right around a socket right between her spine, all drenched in milk and holy water pouring from the sky.
Third Eye Blind - "Wounded" :: Back down the bully to the back of the bus, because it's time for them to be scared of us.
The Rolling Stones - "Under My Thumb" :: Under my thumb is a Siamese cat of a girl, the sweetest pet in the world. It's unreal, the way she comes when I tell her to.
The Sounds - "Rock and Roll" :: How come you taste so good? This time I'm really hurt. You know I like it loud; you should know me by now. You don't know what it's like, I've done things you'd only dreamed about...more than once or twice, it keeps me up at night. Something sweet or something strong, seems like love no longer can turn me on.
Vienna Teng - "Soon Love Soon" :: There will be an evolution of the human soul, we will know that be a part is to be truly whole...that the fate of one is the fate of all.
A Perfect Circle - "The Noose" :: With your halo slipping down to choke you...
IAMX - "Pretty Little Angel" :: She's open, she's wildlife caressing the bright lights. Religious: pleasure to pain. The kiss, the kill, the poetry, the freak way.
Imogen Heap - "My Secret Friend" :: You have loved, you were not alone. You have braved the weather. When the storm cut you to the bone, there was always shelter.
Moloko - "The Only Ones" :: To those with afflictions, prone to addictions, to users and losers, doubters and their daughters and sons: your angel will come.
Recoil - "Chrome" :: Life doesn't mean telling lies, it means enduring what you despise. I'm through with the dark boys, done with the dark boys, I swear you'll be the last one.
Florence + the Machine - "Rabbit Heart" :: I must become a lion-hearted girl, ready for a fight before I make the final sacrifice. This is a gift; it comes with a price.
Emilie Autumn - "Thank God I'm Pretty" :: Thank God I'm pretty, so that every skill I ever have will be in question.
Poe - "Not A Virgin" :: I've been open, and I've been closed like a book, burned down like a written sin. So if you wanna play dirty, darling, I'm gonna win.
Tilly and the Wall - "Coughing Colors" :: She was true, all blinded and bruised, she didn't give a fuck.
Tori Amos - "Siren" :: Know too well, know the chill, know she breaks, my siren. Almost brave, almost pregnant. Almost in love, in love, vanilla.
We Are The Fury - "Venus" :: She's a sly cat, plaster white, shoots her mouth like a firing squad. See her ruby jive, swinging her hips like the Aphrodite.
Bat For Lashes - "I'm On Fire" :: Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and blunt, and put a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul.
Protest The Hero - "Turn Soonest to the Sea" :: Because dignity's not physical and your flesh means more than you. Your flesh means more than you.
The Hold Steady - "Your Little Hoodrat Friend" :: She says it hurts, but it's worth it.
Neko Case - "This Tornado Loves You" :: What will make you believe me?
Alanis Morissette - "Uninvited" :: Like any hot-blooded woman, I have simply wanted an object to crave...but you, you're not allowed, you're uninvited.
Atmosphere - "Bleed Slow" :: The daughter of the speak, the slaughter of the meek, the godly technique. The monster march is to a different beat. Live fast, bleed slow.
The Strike Boys - "Chemical Princess" :: You move quick; no mercy, no pain. Take your fix, my chemical princess; you are the violent beauty I will worship.
Tiamat - "As Long As You Are Mine" :: You dance like liquid fire, like crystal methedrine. You make the stars come closer.
Rufus Wainwright - "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" :: These are just a couple of my cravings. Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me...everything about him is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder, a little bit deadly. So please be kind if I'm a mess.
Lady Gaga - "Paper Gangsta" :: I do not accept any less than someone just a real, as fabulous. Want me to sign there on your Range Rover heart? I've heard it before.
Indigo Girls - "Kid Fears" :: Little girl, how much have you grown? Are you on fire from the years? Replace need with love, replace anger with the tide.
Florence + The Machine - "Howl" :: Be careful of the curse that falls on your lovers; they start so soft and sweet, and turn into hunters.
Crystal Castles - "Tell Me What to Swallow" :: Through the wall he threw me; I knew he'd never hurt me.
Eminem ft. Rihanna - "Love The Way You Lie" :: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? That's all right, because I like the way it hurts.
Bat for Lashes - "Siren Song" :: Can I stop off in your bed for a while? I could make you smile. I'll be good, I think I could be all you would want and more and more. Be proud when you dazzle the wondrous, glitter your eyes for the town, tell every last boy that you're my man, try not to let you down...'till the siren come calling, calling, it's driving me evil, evil. I was a heartbreaker, I loved you the same way I do; I've got so much wickedness and sin. My name is pearl, and I'll love you the best way I know how.
Tiamat - "Cain" :: Mother-of-pearl handcrafted by God. You're the tower built to reach the sky, a white falcon with my mark on your skin. Your soul in heaven, your body in hell.

right through the strangest calling, i should have known[]

moar on appearance + clothing + tattoos

only once did my hands reach anything beautiful, but now she's turned away[]

  • "Anything you want."
  • "People are very big on "I don't care what you look like" as long as what you look like still meets their standards. "Be yourself, as long as I like your self.""'
  • "It reminds me of you, and I don't know why, but I don't question it. It just does."
  • "My mom was more into reading me Marxist literature. Or Emma Goldman."
  • "But it's scientific, isn't it? Matter that doesn't end, doesn't die, it's just transformed, so there's always an afterlife...I think if we're not afraid of being born we shouldn't be afraid of dying, but we have to be ready, and nobody's ready at the same time."
  • "You still owe me for that set, by the way. Fucking men and your shoulders stretching out my Carine Gilson." (Wes wore her lingerie.)
  • "But the best things are the things that push you past your comfort level for your own personal betterment."
  • "He was being complimentary- said "I bet you have men fall in love with you girls on sight here all the time." And I said, you know, teasing him- "love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies." It's from Donne- he recognized it."
  • "I'd hate to get you into trouble."
  • "You have a duty to protect people, right, as a detective. Well, so do I, as a witch, with the way I practice and the standards I have for myself, and...sometimes those paths cross- albeit for different reasons."
  • "Point someone out, I might be able to tell you something about them. If you're looking to hear stories, that is, and those are what I'm best at. Among other things."
  • "I don't really want you to feel everything I feel."
  • "I'm fond of spoiled bastards, I've noticed--or maybe just bastards in general, I don't know."
  • "You think people can start over? Completely? Become someone new?"
  • "I don't think it counts as 'getting the girl' if you only get her for fifteen minutes."
  • "I've been there, done that. Twice. I give myself up to a man again so completely, it's not going to be for money."
  • "What I'm saying is- a fundamentally good person doesn't exist, do they? Everyone makes their choices...innocence is an overrated concept compared to when free will is exercised for something good."
  • "Do I seem like the troublesome type of girl to you, Raylan?"
  • "There's something to be said for sinful living, I think. Or maybe I'm just too used to being everybody's scandal."
  • "Do you ever feel like it's not even about the decisions you make- like trouble would follow you around no matter what you did, so you might as well just go with it?"
  • "I can tell when a man is really in love because he acts like the woman in his life is some kind of terrible natural disaster. I miss that, actually."
  • "Too much practicality kills, you know. That's why I wear the shoes I do."
  • "Norea Serhati - I'm usually the bad idea."

change in the dream, change in the fire who i am[]

Hasiwiki5-1

Stark, straightforward.

The Quest of the Absolute - complete. Revolved around the police investigation into ritualized murders done around Alkahest nightclub, where Hasibe works; the man responsible turned out to be a wannabe sorcerer sacrificing groups of victims in an attempt to earn power from a bodiless low-level demon. He was apprehended by the police, specifically Bellamy Morray, and Hasibe bound his power to speak to demons or do sorcery, cursing him with aphasia should he ever try again. The demon, however, is still on the loose, something Hasi wants to rectify.
A Man of Business - complete. Involved the murder of a young woman named Annabel Chapman at a dinner party, whose MP father turned out to be responsible, after his daughter threatened to expose his financial dealings with a terrorist group called Numen.
A Bachelor's Establishment - in progress. Almos Keresztes, Hasibe's employer and handler, has been found shot dead in his office.

The Secrets of a Princess: A five-part storyline involving the persecution of supernatural beings, slow build of frightened religious hysteria, and modern-day witch hunts focusing on "hedonistic culture" and celebrities in Britain, all led by an ambitious man named Norman Daniels. This will take months to complete, and should tie in with the last episode of the first season of LM, The Girl With the Golden Eyes.

  • Chapter I: The Last Word of Two Great Coquettes - in progress.
  • Chapter II: Daniel D'Arthez - soon.
  • Chapter III: The Princess Goes To Work - soon.
  • Chapter IV: The Confession of a Pretty Woman - soon.
  • Chapter V: A Trial of Faith - soon.

gramarye i have found, see how she's driving me[]

Umit Hasibe Melisande Ozcelik is an entirely fictional character from a universe I -- possibly ill-advisedly -- made-up one night; her played-by and said played-by's remarkable ability to look almost obnoxiously flawless in no make-up (while useful for my purposes) are used without permission and purely for representational purposes, with no profit whatsoever being made from any of this. The lyrics used for the character's primary theme song are from Remy Zero's "Gramarye," and quite aptly, a gramarye or grammaire is a book of magic used by witches. This is an AU or "alternate universe" version of the original character who exists at another game.

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